A Month is Forever

 "We were the only pulsating creatures in a dead world of ice." ~~Frederick Albert Cook.

Current Weather:

-7°C|19°F Temperature
-13°C|8°F Wind Chill
Skies: Partly Cloudy  
Visibility (miles): Unrestricted  
Winds (knots): E @ 5
 
I’ve been in Antarctica two days shy of a month. In some ways it’s hard to believe, yet at the same time, not. The novelty has not worn off. Every day is still amazing. Surreal. Breath taking. Humbling. The last time I wrote was Oct 24th. It’s now November 12th.

Life has taken over. One day flows into another. Weeks pass, and now a month. Yet, one day is filled with hours and hours of new experiences, experiences that I don’t even know how to share. I don’t know how to write about life here. I don’t know how to share this. I’ve tried to sit down and update this blog for weeks now, but every time I sit down to a computer, I get back up and walk off to do something. It’s hard to bring myself to even check email.

I’ve become so immersed, so “absorbed.” Every night there’s something different to do. When it’s a quiet evening, you find yourself sitting for hours in the dining hall talking to good friends. It’s simple, but it’s amazing. I have to sit myself down and physically make myself think about life outside of Antarctica. Otherwise, it’s easily forgotten. Family, friends, memories, belongings left behind. Some days it doesn’t exist. It’s like it was never there. I’m going back to Alaska? I was born and raised in New York? Where are these places?

It’s like I’ve always been here. I don’t even remember who that person was that stepped off the plane on the ice runway on October 14th whose heart was racing at the idea of setting foot on a continent of ice. I remember the feeling of my first step on this continent, but everything else is gone. The face of that woman is a blur, a ghost of life past. Who was that?

All I know is who I am now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and miss many people. But life here has taken over. The community here sucks you in and it’s a welcoming draw. They say the first season is for the experience. The second season is to make a lot of money. The third season is because you don’t know how to fit in anywhere else. Have I already reached that point? Skipped the first and second season and went straight to the third? How do you fit in anywhere else after something like this? How do you talk about life here? I’ve weathered two Antarctic storms since being here. Drove in near 100% white out conditions, battled 50 knot plus winds that were blowing me back four steps for each step forward I took. I’ve felt what it was like to have snow hit you so hard in the face that it felt like it was biting chunks of flesh out of your body. I’ve had my eyelashes freeze completely together because it was so cold out. But all of it felt natural. It felt like I was supposed to be out there doing this, seeing this. I was where I was supposed to be. 

Wraith Pinned To The Mist

(Of Montreal)

 
Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Let’s forget who forget what forget where
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
I’ll play the Satyr in Cypris you the bride being stripped bare

Let’s pretend we don’t exist
Let’s pretend we’re in Antartica

Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Lets forget when forget what forget how
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
We’ll play Tristan and Izolde but make sure I see white sails

Maybe I’ll never die
I’ll just keep growing younger with you
And you’ll grow younger too
now it seems too lovely to be true
but I know the best things always do

let’s pretend we don’t exist
let’s pretend we’re in Antartica

Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Let’s forget who forget what forget where
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
I’ll play the Satyr in Cypris you the bride being stripped bare

Let’s pretend we don’t exist
Let’s pretend we’re in Antartica

Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Lets forget when forget what forget how
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
We’ll play Tristan and Izolde but make sure I see white sails

Maybe I’ll never die
I’ll just keep growing younger with you
And you’ll grow younger too
now it seems too lovely to be true
but I know the best things always do

let’s pretend we don’t exist
let’s pretend we’re in Antartica