Skua Don't Give a Shit

Badass: [ˈbædˌæs] Slang chiefly US 

Noun: a tough or aggressive person: the meanest badass in town

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We’ve all been touched in some way by the Honey Badger craze that swept across the internet last year. If you’re not too familiar with it, here’s a Youtube link to get you caught up to date. 

Well, here in Antarctica we’ve got our own Honey Badger, the scapegoat of Antarctica. It comes in the winged form of badassness. It is the South Polar Skua: Stercorarius maccormicki. 

Skua don’t give a shit.

Skua takes what it wants.

Skua don’t care.

Literally.

It eats penguins and humans for breakfast.

Quick Disclaimer: A lot of the following information has been gratefully provided by the wonderful Wikipedia. I have inserted my own two scents where appropriate.

The skuas are a group of sea birds with about seven species forming the family Stercorariidae and the genus Stercorarius. The English word "skua" comes from the Faroese name skúgvur for the Great Skua, with the island of Skúvoy renowned for its colony of that bird. The general Faroese term for skuas is kjógvi.

An older name for the bird is MacCormick’s Skua, after explorer and naval surgeon Robert McCormick, who first collected the type specimen. This species and the other large southern hemisphere skuas, together with Great Skua, are sometimes placed in a separate genus Catharacta. Smaller species of the skua are called Jaegers. The word "jaeger" is derived from the German word Jäger, meaning "hunter".

The Skua has been aptly named as a “hunter.” Food is scarce in Antarctica. It typically either consists of fish, carrion, penguins, penguin young, eggs from other bird nests, or the dinner plate of some unsuspecting human. The skua has learned to be ruthless in order to survive.

Skuas have no qualms about resorting to kleptoparasitism or piracy, chasing gulls, terns and other sea birds to steal their catches; regardless of the size of the species they happen to be attacking (their target can be 3 times heavier than themselves).

See, Skua don’t give a shit. He takes what he wants.

The larger species, such as the Great Skua, also regularly kill and eat adult birds, such as puffins and gulls, and have been recorded as killing birds as large as a Grey Heron. On the breeding grounds they commonly eat lemmings, and the eggs and young of other birds. In the Southern oceans and Antarctica region, some skua species (especially the South Polar Skua) will readily scavenge the carcasses at breeding colonies of penguins and pinnipeds, sometimes taking live penguin chicks.

We’ve all seen the scene in Happy Feet where Mumble is getting terrorized by the bullying group of “Fly Boys.” They were skuas, ugly brown, drab birds with a nasty disposition. That pretty much sums up their personality. A bully to the first degree.

Skuas are medium to large birds, typically with grey or brown plumage, often with white markings on the wings. On average, a skua is about 22 inches long, and 48 inches across the wings. They have longish bills with a hooked tip, and webbed feet with sharp claws. They look like large dark gulls and in fact they are related to gulls, waders, auks, and skimmers. They are strong, acrobatic fliers. They are generally aggressive in disposition. Potential predators that go near their nest will be quickly dived at by the parent bird, which usually targets the head of the intruder. It breeds on Antarctic coasts, nesting on the ground usually laying two eggs in November and December. They are long-distance migrants, wintering at sea in the Pacific, Indian and Atlantic and they have even been sighted at the South Pole.

Here at McMurdo, the Skuas have a bit of a reputation. All animals here in Antarctica are protected by the Antarctic Treaty, and the skuas seem to know it. 

 The Antarctic Treaty

They sit where they want, sometimes right in the middle of the road where you need to walk or drive and they will take their merry old time in moving. Since you can’t disturb an animal without the possibility of getting a $10,000 fine, if a skua lands on your van hood and decides to take a nap, there’s not much you can do about it. Your day of work is delayed until Mr. Skua decides to go elsewhere. 

Skua does what he wants.

The skuas have figured out that building 155 is where the food comes from. They congregate around the two side entrances to the building and around the food waste bin outside of the kitchen galley steps. If you happen to wander outside with a plate of food, don’t be shocked if you get dive bombed by a skua ready to swipe your plate of food. Those that have either been warned ahead of getting here, or have learned the hard way, walk outside with their food disguised. Even then, if a Skua sees you with anything that remotely looks like food going near your mouth, you’ve suddenly got a new best friend. An aggressive, predatory best friend. 

Skua don’t give a shit.

F’ you human race.

I am skua. I do what I want.